I went without Facebook for 30 days and I think I found the
meaning to life. I know it’s a bold claim but that’s how interesting I found the
experience. I’m back on Facebook now, but use it very differently. Very
differently indeed.
But this post isn’t about facebook. It’s about something far
weirder. So hold on to your hats, this is going to go into the realm of the
twilight zone.
For every day of September 2014, I lived by 5 simple rules
(or guidelines you might say) as part of a special project for the next book I'm writing and they were: (BTW this is certainly not the
weirdest part yet)
- Watch where I place my
attention, keep my energy and thoughts within myself. This is where
facebook comes in as it was drawing a lot of my attention and making me
cranky and a host of other negative emotions, so I ditched it.
- Do more of what feels
right and be neutral about things you don’t like doing. So instead of whinging
about spraying the weeds, I just got on with it and then focussed my
energy on doing things I really enjoyed, things that made my soul shine
and my heart sing.
- Trust everything will be
fine. I worry a lot, however I’ve experienced in the past that, when I do
trust things will turn out ok and then let go of the mental worry
everything does turns out fine or even better than I expected. So I need
to do that more.
- Recognise different types
of fear. I am a little timid creature and have all sort of fears and
anxieties, but what I was being asked to do was identify whether the fear
I felt was justified or could it be easily overcome? Was my fear holding
me back from doing what I wanted to do?
- Notice subtle signs of
connection, synchronicity and feelings in the body. I get the feeling that
my body is a signal post for some subtle messages and I need to listen to
it. Synchronicity was something I had to keep looking out for too as it indicted
I was on the right path, whatever it was.
So they were the 5 tenants that I lived by for 30 days. But
what may you ask happened that prompted me to make such a drastic course of
action and even more so what was the outcome? Did I become Mother Teresa or
some new age guru? You’ll see in a just a few paragraphs.
Now we get to the delicious weird stuff. It all started with
a simple question, more like a question that would start a search. After
finishing writing Dying to Know – is there life after death, I got the sense that there was some sort of
guidance hovering around me, gently trying to communicate. Being a curious
person and wanting to go deeper down the rabbit hole that is the afterlife
mystery, I tried to communicate back to this guidance and asked what was the
best way to do it.
I have a long history of not trusting my instincts and
intuition, but it was after I read about 26 pages of mediation notes I’d taken,
I was left in no doubt that someone or something was trying to communicate
something to me or through me. There was shit there that I couldn’t have made
up even if I tried. And it was how some of what they said made me feel that was
the kicker. I was moved to tears by some it and at times I felt a deep connection
to what it was saying. It made way more sense that what you’d see on TV or in
movies. It resonated deep in my bones.
Was I channelling my higher self or some higher authority? I
don’t know, I feel that’s not the point though, it’s what the message
contained that was important. From the notes I’d taken and with my question in
mind about deepening the connection, I extracted those 5 key tenants and
decided to put them to the test.
I’ve put the results in a question and answer scenario as I felt
it was the right way to get the message across.
How do I feel after 30 days of the experiment?
At times I feel I’ve forgotten about it altogether. Then
other times I’ve been vigilantly holding on to the process for dear life in
case I forget and get in trouble. Sounds silly, but at times that’s what I
felt. Overall though I feel this has brought changes on the inside, people
watching me may not have noticed any difference, but how I think and how I feel
has slightly changed.
Spaciousness.
With the aim to drop some of the swirling negative thoughts
that often cause me so much anxiety, I feel that grounding myself constantly,
and feeling my feet does help create a spaciousness in my mind that I didn’t
have before. Initially I felt I was gripping on to the grounding as a way of
avoiding the thoughts, however I soon realised I could be more relaxed about
it. Now I can gently remind myself that I’m babbling away to myself, drop my
attention to the feet and my body and notice a comfortable letting go. It’s a
spaciousness that is quite delightful and full of a deep connection to the
earth and to my physical self.
Am I alone?
I can almost definitely say that no. There is something
going on that I can’t exactly explain. I can feel / sense some sort of guidance
whether that is in the form of feelings and sensations, writing down
information that feels different that my own voice and there’s also synchronicity.
I’ve resisted the urge to label who is delivering the information because I
feel that’s not the point. Does the information make sense, does it resonate
deeply and does it seem worthwhile to follow? If I connect with all that, then
I know it’s genuine. Obviously I’m not getting messages like ‘Kill Joan, Kill
Joan’, because that wouldn’t feel right or resonate with me and Joan wouldn’t
like it either.
Am I happier?
It’s not about being happier, it’s opening up to something
that’s really exciting. It’s living with your eyes wide open and your heart
open as well. Every moment has the potential for adventure and understanding.
It’s also when I act on guidance, and I drop my thoughts and maybe take my
shoes off and feel the grass I feel deeply connected to the earth. There’s a
peaceful silence that just makes sense. When I compare that feeling to the
craziness of what goes on in my mind, I’d prefer to feel the grass!
Is this a religious
experience?
No, for me there was nothing religious about it, it was just an experience. Some people may label it
religious however I just call it opening up and acknowledging something bigger
than my scared little self. The less I try and label any aspect of it, the richer
and more fruitful the journey will be.
What about Facebook /
social Media?
I noticed that facebook had become a habit and a negative
one at that. This is only in relation to me though; I’m not speaking for
everyone. I would feel myself drawn to check it all day long and used it as a
distraction and also when I was bored. I found that without it, I was much
happier, more focussed on what was happening in my immediate surroundings, less
stressed and uptight and I had more time for creative pursuits. Being away from
it has made me realised that life goes on without it and it don’t need to seek
my identity through it. I’ll use it again, but do it very differently.
Is that it?
No, this is the start of an ongoing process and I have to
trust where it’s going. I have the tools to be mindful, grounded and keep my
energy up and will use them to help me discover new aspects of myself. When I
keep focused on doing what I enjoy and being neutral about what I don’t then
that keeps me focussed on what I want. The universe will the respond in kind.
Have it learned to
let go?
Again it’s a process. I have moments where everything has
fallen apart and I’ve wallowed in self pity but I think that’s part of process
and they key is not to get caught up in it too much. The idea of completely
letting go and trusting in something (even though I may not know what it is) excites
me.
Less fear more
adventure.
I feel an edging towards a sense of being able to notice my
fears then feeling confident enough to move beyond them, However it’s wilding
interesting to know that I have a fear of such things as success, popularity
and achievement.
However all I need to do is bring people along on my journey as
I’m not out to be claiming to be an expert only an explorer and we all can
explore together. I’m willing to put in all the hard yards of self exploration so
it paves the way for other people to do their own exploring.
I wonder if other people have had similar experiences or similar connections? I'd be interested to hear your stories. You can email me at josh @ frogandthewell.com
